Psychology
How Do You Know She’s Not Into You? | 6 Warning Signs
Romantic relationships, unsurprisingly, can be challenging to manage.
Human as we all are, we’re a museum of the people who raised us, the environment we lived in, the set of beliefs we hold, and the people we’ve encountered. All these combined makes one unique, and perhaps a even little perplexing.
This is especially true when you’ve been seeing a lady for a while, and things seem to be going well until your gut tells you something isn’t quite right.
While it’s important to remember that no two women are the same, it’s also critical to recognize the signs that scream “she’s not into you.” Or at least not as much as you’d like her to be.
Gentlemen, I don’t want you to end up like Tom Hansen in (500) Days of Summer, putting a lady on a pedestal and becoming resentful when she fails to meet your expectations. In an attempt to end your heartbreaking nights filled with overthinking, allow me to list a few key clues for you.
She’s Just Not That Into You When…
Fasten your seatbelt and keep those tissues close at hand. Just kidding (not really). Pay close attention to the following and see if they resonate enough to give you a small kick in the heart:
Her Replies Are Inconsistent and Short
The true manifestation of interest is consistency.
There’s a fine line between a woman saying, “I’m sorry, I was busy” as she reaches out to you, and a woman only saying she’s sorry when you had to double text her or restart the conversation after days of no replies.
Take time to thoroughly review your chat messages. Are most of your messages longer compared to her short phrases? If so, man, don’t force it. An interested lady will find ways to keep the conversation going.
She’s Uncomfortable With Physical Closeness
A woman is uncomfortable if her body language is stiff or closed.
Some examples include when she doesn’t meet your gaze, when she points her legs in the opposite direction, when she leans away as you try to get close, and if she often crosses her arms. This can accompany her short or limited responses.
If she’s just shy, you can tell because she just looks down on the floor but still engages with you. The main difference between being shy and being uncomfortable with you is their lack of engagement.
She Doesn’t Share Her Feelings or Emotions
According to research conducted on heterosexual couples in 2015, women are more likely than men to value emotional intimacy with minimal boundaries between partners.
Accordingly, women are naturally inclined to open up and offer emotional support, so it says a lot if she’s unable to do so despite your efforts to connect with her.
You don’t have to waste so much energy on a pretty lady who can’t reciprocate your feelings. The world is blessed enough with many fishes in the sea!
She Often Postpones or Cancels Plans
Stop making excuses for her in your head when she consistently rejects or postpones your date plans. The third time doesn’t always carry the charm, buddy. My suggestion? Take every no for what it is.
Try not to romanticize every response from her and instead see her as she is. She can’t be either ill or invited to a party every Saturday. Unless she’s been diagnosed with a seasonal allergy that occurs on Saturdays (if that’s possible).
She’s Not Compromising
Compromising is generally considered a good thing, especially when you’re still dating because it demonstrates a person’s willingness to meet you halfway and reach an agreement on your relationship.
Consider it this way: she watches movies you recommend, even if you know it’s not her cup of tea. She takes the time to respond to your chats during her work breaks, and she asks for your thoughts whenever she discusses anything at random.
Does she make a little extra effort for you? If not, you don’t have to try harder.
She Says You’re Like a Brother to Her
This screams friendzone, no argument. As much as you hoped for her to acknowledge your efforts romantically, you simply can’t force some things. This is not to say she does not care about you.
She does. Just in a platonic way.
Now do I suggest you continue being friends with her? Sure, as long as you have fully accepted their decision and are not putting yourself on the back burner.
Whether or not these clues strike a chord with you, the most important thing to remember when trying to connect with someone is to keep your own feelings and well-being in mind. So, instead of making it all about you when you know she’s not into you, see it as a good opportunity to find a better match.
Reference
Umberson et al. (2015). “Intimacy and Emotion Work in Lesbian, Gay, and Heterosexual Relationships.” National Library of Medicine.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4370347/#:~:text=Given%20the%20research%20on%20heterosexual,between%20partners%2C%20and%20sexual%20interactions?
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