RELATIONSHIPS
Did Your Partner Ghost You or Are They Just Busy? Here’s How You Can Tell
You recently found a new beau.
You aren’t entirely sure about each other yet, but you’re both willing to give it a try. After a few cups of coffee and a good amount of conversations, you seem to be warming up to each other pretty well.
Then, out of the blue, they stop contacting you.
It’s unusual for you not to hear from them. Nothing seemed wrong when you last met, and your last conversation ended on a light note. Now you’re left racking your brain. What exactly should you do in this case?
Reaching out to them sounds like a great idea, but you wouldn’t want to seem clingy. At the same time, you need some sort of assurance that you still mean something to each other.
This scenario sounds suspiciously like another case of ghosting. The worst part is, you wouldn’t even be able to tell if you’ve been ghosted until a few days later. You’re stuck wasting your days trying to think of reasons why you haven’t heard from your partner.
Instead of overthinking it and jumping to conclusions, here are some signs of ghosting to look out for:
They aren’t as active in sending messages.
Relationships are heavily reliant on communication. You have to keep each other in the loop to sustain the relationship. True, it’s not always ideal to meet, but you can always talk to one another via SMS and online messaging apps.
However, not everyone is fond of sending or receiving text messages. The only exception is when that person means something to them.
If your partner does not initiate the conversation at least once, they probably are not as into you as you think.
What’s worse, even though they are online and they haven’t bothered to read or send a reply to your message.
It’s 1000x worse if they’ve left you “on read.” Anyone would feel slighted if their partner did this to them.
Unless they have a valid reason for not responding timely (i.e they’re at work or they fell asleep), then you have all the reasons to be skeptical of them.
They cut your conversations short.
Does your partner reply with “okay” or “alright” quite often? You try your best to keep the conversation going but still fail since they always give you curt responses. This makes it hard for you to have long and meaningful conversations with them.
It’s understandable if they do this once in a while. Doing it in almost every single conversation, however, is a different story.
As painful as it is to say this, your partner is probably not interested in you anymore. If they suddenly stop messaging you, at least it’ll be easy to figure out why. But in this case, they’re making a fool out of you. It’s best to confront them early to avoid wasting your time.
They barely put in any effort.
You’re always reaching out first, always the one making plans, and always the one who adjusts. Let’s face it. You put in more effort than them.
There always seems to be a pattern to this too. They go on for days without contact, then suddenly message you without any explanation of any sort. It’s as though nothing happened. It’s not a big deal.
You deserve someone who gives as much effort as you do — someone who values you, someone who prioritizes you. And not someone who considers you as a second thought.
They don’t inform you of their plans.
It’s common courtesy to tell someone you’re dating if you’re going to be busy. That way, they can make plans that best fit your schedule. No one has to worry why the other is not responding to their texts since they already know the other person is busy.
When a person is not interested, they come up with random excuses not to see you. They don’t tell you ahead if they have any plans. Nor do they find a way to reschedule.
You can tell that they are bluffing when the excuses they give are way too detailed. People tend to try too hard when they fabricate stories. They make them sound as dramatic and complicated as possible. As a result, you feel discouraged to carry out your plans.
If your partner wants to make the relationship work, they will find ways to be with you. If not, they find excuses.
They never seem to be happy to see you.
On top of having short responses, your partner never seems eager to hear from you or see you. You don’t have to ask — their body language and facial expressions tell you everything.
They turn their body away from you, cross their arms when you are around, avoid sitting close to you, and they dodge eye contact.
If this is indeed the case, anyone would be able to tell that something seems off.
The final nail to the coffin is when they aren’t reciprocating your affection. Their expressions are deadpanned and borderline annoyed at your touches. Ghosting is very much in their character already.
What to Do If You’ve Been Ghosted
Being ghosted by someone you trusted is a total letdown. They brought up your hopes, only to disappoint you in the end.
It will make you feel spiteful. It will make you want exact revenge. Maybe you’ll even want to take it out on someone.
If you are deeply hurt, allow yourself to heal. Don’t let your anger get the best of you. Letting your ex consume you will only bring you more pain.
Give yourself some time and space to cope. It’s not the end of your dating journey. Your (presumably) now ex isn’t the only person in the world who could love you.
There are so many single people out there who, much like you, are looking for someone to love and treat them well.
Go out there, meet new people, date, and find love that’s worth your time. Find someone who can treat you better, someone who puts you first.
Suggested read
