Self-Respect
What’s So Good About The No Contact Rule?
Let’s just say you recently ended your relationship for good.
Your days consist of either crying in your room or going out with pals to let loose. And in those many nights of going out, just as you rise up to leave and head home again, your friends tell you this: Don’t forget the no contact rule!
And you can’t blame them for reminding you that.
Missing an ex is part of the grieving process of a breakup. It’s okay to reminisce about your days together by listening to songs you both enjoyed, viewing movies you both watched, or even having the tiny hope that they’ll return. But, while your emotions are running high, it may be tempting to text them to see how they’re doing after who knows how long of having no communication.
So before you start composing a message, let me tell you this: your friends are right. The no contact rule is helpful.
According to Forbes, and backed by a psychologist in 2024, adopting the no contact rule after a breakup is essential for processing your feelings without distraction from continuous communication, and for developing a more realistic perspective of your ex rather than an idealized one.
Need I say more? Let me break it down for you.
Key Benefits of Having the No Contact Rule
Even if your heart tells you otherwise, following the no contact rule can help you stay away from things that are no longer good for you. Here’s why:
It Prevents Further Emotional Attachment
When you refrain from contacting each other after a breakup, you’re freeing yourself from more attachment. This allows you to concentrate on your emotions without them interfering with your grief.
In contrast to remaining in contact, when there are moments where you may create false hopes in the relationship. That can be mentally and emotionally taxing for both of you.
It Helps You Gain a Sense of Relief
When you remove yourself from a toxic relationship, you get a sense of relief. But don’t feel bad if you feel this way after a breakup. It just means that your breakup was on your back and you needed that release.
By cutting off that person’s influence, you’ve taken a wonderful step toward taking charge of your life. This showcases your strength and determination!
It Helps You Gain Clarity on the Relationship
As you take a step back and have more time to yourself, you get to reflect more on your relationship’s dynamics. You gain self-awareness of your shortcomings and gain greater understanding of what not to tolerate in a relationship.
You will most likely experience a lot of “a-ha!” moments because you’re finally able to recognize the toxic patterns you previously overlooked. While being alone for a while may appear “lonely” to others, it’s never a bad thing to take your time so you can better invest in your own future.
It Provides Space for Self-Improvement
With substantial time for self-awareness comes space and opportunity for self-improvement. While it’s valid to hold your ex accountable, you have more control over what you can do going forward. Don’t let your best self remain an image in your head when you can work on realizing it with small steps day by day.
Want to get in good shape? That doesn’t happen overnight. Achievement requires discipline and consistency, so start planning your workout schedule and keep your eye on your goal.
It Promotes Self-Respect
Relationships aren’t a chasing game, man. You’re both human. You’re not Tom and Jerry. I understand that ladies enjoy a good chase, but chasing someone after they’ve clearly explained why you should break up is like punching yourself in the gut.
Respect yourself by giving up the superhero suit. Even Batman needs rest to save his beloved Gotham City. Besides, if your relationship is truly sailing, you wouldn’t even be here reading an article about the no contact rule in the first place.
Remember that you were already worthwhile even before they came. You will continue to be so even after they’re gone.
Reference
Travers, M. (2024). “A Psychologist Weighs In On The Post-Breakup ‘No-Contact’ Rule.” Forbes.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2024/01/26/a-psychologist-weighs-in-on-the-post-breakup-no-contact-rule/
