REALITIES
Why Do People Ghost? Here Are 5 Reasons Why
If you find yourself clicking on this article, you might be among those who were suddenly left behind by someone you were having a great time with. Perhaps you’ve asked yourself this a thousand times over: Why do people ghost?
Whether in person or virtually, this can occur at the start of a relationship or in the midst of one. All you get in return are confused, hurt, and rejected feelings, as well as no answer to your calls, texts, or online chats.
As online dating continues to grow in popularity, ghosting has become normalized to the point where individuals can move quickly and without cause between matches. With the ability to ‘leave someone on read’ so easy and widely accepted, relationships feel a lot more disposable these days.
But should we continue to accept it as the norm?
Rather than going into silent mode, why not have a more straightforward and honest conversation about why you decide not to pursue the relationship further?
Experts have come to agree that ghosting is an act of emotional abuse, which is why it can be difficult to be on the receiving end of it. You get stuck in a loop where you doubt your value, shame, and blame yourself.
5 Main Reasons Why People Ghost
In an effort to absolve you of carrying unnecessary responsibility, the following five reasons can explain why ghosters act the way they do:
1. Fear of Hurting Someone
Ironically, this is one major factor. They fear that disagreements will arise and that they will become triggered, or that you may have unintentionally set them off.
That they chose to ghost as a response indicates that they lack accountability for their triggers and projected them onto you.
2. Ghosting Is Convenient
Compared to being direct and honest, they see ghosting as more pragmatic. And by doing this, they can simply close the door and avoid having awkward or difficult conversations.
This says a lot about a person’s lack of emotional intelligence. Along with their lack of integrity, they act without thinking through the consequences of their actions.
3. Ghosters Have Low Self-Esteem
Not everyone who ghosts is evil incarnate. They might be going through problems or struggling with low self-esteem, which might make them think they deserve you.
In an attempt to fill the void they feel, these people take the initiative to start relationships but later come to the conclusion that they are not ready. Be careful when you come across a person who has a fearful or avoidant type of attachment, as this is a common behavior among them.
4. Poor Communication Skills
This is also a mental health factor as to why someone chooses to ghost. They might not have known what constitutes healthy communication growing up.
Ghosters are not inherently emotionless; rather, they do a poor job of expressing themselves.
5. They Have Other Options
If you met this person online, there’s a great chance that you’re far from their only option. When you have other choices, it can be as simple as choosing to go for whoever shines brightest.
For this reason, whether you are dating online or not, being transparent is crucial to setting clear expectations and improving your emotional control.
This is your gentle reminder that you are not always the problem in a world where you feel disposable. I hope this gives you enough confidence to hold your head high, maintain your dignity, and let them go without constantly asking the question of why do people ghost.
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