Advice
How to Handle a Situationship in Three Reminders
Modern dating culture has a new term coined, which they call “situationship.”
Now, what is a situationship? To break it down for you, it’s when two people get into a relationship that lacks a clear definition. This means that while you are not exactly someone’s “girlfriend,” you’re acting in the same way.
Confused? I feel you.
Personally, I don’t feel good about the concept of situationships, for I strongly advocate for commitment. I doubt my mental capacity will ever be suitable for one-night stands, let alone a situationship. But you know what? It seems the “cool” thing now.
In fact, according to YouGov’s data from 2024, Americans are very familiar with situationships, with two out of every five admitting to having been in one (39%). Among adults aged 18 to 34, this percentage peaks at 50%, suggesting that the younger generation is more interested in this type of relationship.
So, if you happen to be in one and come across this article, I believe you may need some help.
How Can You Effectively Navigate A Situationship?
Navigating the uncertainty caused by the confusing nature of situationships must be mind-boggling. Here are some therapist-approved ways to manage — and possibly get rid — of one:
Put More Weight on Your Values.
Your values reflect your deepest aspirations for how you want to behave and treat others and yourself. As Mindtools asserts, recognizing your values leads to actions based on increased awareness.
In turn, that clarifies your needs, objectives, and interpersonal dynamics. This means you don’t rely on what others expect from you.
In a situationship, recognizing your values is especially important because it helps you evaluate how to treat yourself or how your partner treats you.
Recognize How Much You Feel Valued by Them.
Regardless of how casual or committed a relationship is, you’re entitled to the bare minimum of care and respect. These include your partner taking an interest in your life, both inside and outside of your relationship; being honest; being sensitive to your needs; and accepting responsibility.
Occasionally, try to ask yourself, “How does this person make me feel cared for?” Is she leading you to more distress? Are there upsetting patterns you’ve observed despite communicating your needs?
If you answered “yes” to these questions, you do not have to put up with this type of dynamic.
Keep In Mind That This Is Still a Relationship.
Repeat after me: A situationship is still a relationship. Though yes, this can be frightening and more difficult to navigate than a committed one. It should still be meaningful, regardless of how long it will last.
A ring and a label are not the only things that can validate a relationship, after all. Remember that you’re free to break up and mourn it if it doesn’t work out for whatever reasons.
It all boils down to having a conversation in order to continue or end a situationship that no longer serves you well. A decent conversation. Inform them politely of the reason your ship is not sailing for you anymore.
The important thing here is that you don’t ghost them. You are not Casper the Friendly Ghost. You are a man with a beating heart.
References
Hancock, J. (n.d.). “What Are Your Values? — Deciding What’s Important in Life”. Mindtools.
https://www.mindtools.com/a5eygum/what-are-your-values
Shah, K. (2024). “Half of 18 to 34 aged Americans have been in a ‘situationship’”. YouGov.
https://business.yougov.com/content/48492-half-of-18-to-34-aged-americans-have-been-in-a-situationship
