PSYCHOLOGY

A Guide to Pulling the Heartstrings of a Thought Daughter

Yasmin Del Rosario
3 min readSep 17, 2024
A girl wearing a white cardigan and enjoying her time reading a book

A new vocabulary has entered the group chat and the credit goes to TikTok once again. This time, it’s the rise of the word “thought daughter.”

Suddenly, an abundance of women all over the site are labeling themselves as one by sharing common experiences. If you haven’t been up to date with what’s trending, you may be perplexed by what it really means.

Basically, these are women who are deep overthinkers; whose brains can’t seem to slow down, finding pleasure in digging deep into every situation, only to end up crippled by it and are mostly into educational pursuits.

With that said, the thought daughter has similarities with the eldest daughter because they are both conscientious while being big people pleasers which makes them prone to mental burnout.

The need to be seen and understood is the core attribute of a “thought daughter,” which is why the majority of them turn to literature, arts, music, films, and people whom they feel safe and can freely vent to.

As the world faces a lot of social, political, and environmental issues, paired with various generational cycles in every home, there’s no doubt that you’ve encountered one or more thought daughters. These are the type of women who think a lot because they care a lot, which is a quality the world needs more of.

You may be wondering how you can best give them affection as it can be challenging having them as a partner. Let me walk you through a guide on how to establish a good connection with a thought daughter.

Give Them Reassurance

Given that they are often clouded with thoughts, they need someone who comforts them with reassurance in great detail. Yes, you read that right. They will need you to communicate with them in as much detail as they need from you. Try not to get upset with this as this helps them be at ease and be well-rested for the day. You might need to swallow your pride and be more expressive with how much you care for them.

Be Honest

You wouldn’t want to be the cause of their negative spirals. A thought daughter is prone to anxiety and depression, and your authenticity would be very significant with this connection. Now you don’t have to be cruel in the name of being honest either. Just be gentle and mindful of your words and actions, and you will gain their respect even more.

Grant Them Their Space

With thoughts and happenings overstimulating them, they may ask for space every now and again to rest and deal with everything. Try not to take offense at this. As much as they appreciate your concern and your willingness to listen, they will greatly appreciate it if you respect their need for space to process things by themselves.

Have Patience

It is expected that one can get frustrated in being with someone who overthinks a lot. This is something that happens in any relationship. Especially when you have a lot on your plate, it is okay to take a breather and do activities that help you calm down. Take a walk, write in a journal, do sports, or play video games. It’s best to consider these rather than end up crying over spilled milk.

Shower Them With Encouragement

Be as optimistic as you can and lift their spirits by being one of their sources of support. Remind them of their strengths as this helps alleviate their negative thoughts and feelings. Acknowledge their concerns and make it known that there are solutions and you’ll be glad to help if you can.

Needless to say, a thought daughter isn’t for everyone. It’s guaranteed that this type of woman shouldn’t be paired with someone who has a short fuse or is shallow-minded. Like any other woman, she deserves someone who’ll be glad to dive into her mind, appreciate her for who she is, and weather the storm with her. Be sure that you have the right character before pursuing one.

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