ADVICE

The Reasons Why You’re Living a Pained Single Life Until Now

Yasmin Del Rosario
5 min readOct 16, 2023
a lonely man sitting in front of his television screen while sitting on his bed and eating straight from the can of a canned food
Photo by Ron Lach on Pexels

Is it really you, or are they simply not the right match for you?

You’ve been dating for a long time now, and you can’t help but ask why you’re still single. At some point, you need to consider that maybe you’re the one who’s at fault.

To better understand your situation, here are some probable reasons why you’re still single:

Misleading yourself to the idea that you’re not good enough is a hindrance.

Doubting makes you see yourself as a flawed person. You constantly worry that your potential partners will see the same. Because of this, you try harder to be better for them to like you.

Eventually, you soon realize that making them happy by pretending to be someone you’re not is not fulfilling.

Thinking you’re unworthy doesn’t bring you the kind of love you deserve.

You can’t possibly love someone without loving yourself first.

Only you can define your worth. Feel good about yourself, build your inner confidence, and realize that any woman would be lucky to have you.

In love, no one deserves to be with a person who tramples on their values and feelings. If you think you’re unappreciated, walk away and move on.

Not only is it toxic, but feeling inferior is unhealthy.

When you highly think of someone, you consider everything about them as perfect — to the extent that you remove yourself from the equation. Over time, this belief generates inequality in your partnership.

After all, you should remember that loving someone doesn’t have to compromise your love for yourself.

A person seeking love should let his guard down and allow himself to be vulnerable.

At this point in your life, you’ve most likely had your fair share of breakups and a long list of ex-lovers you can no longer remember. Because of what you went through, you’re not to blame for wanting to protect yourself so badly.

However, not opening up to anyone will not help in finding the right person for you. The more you resist being vulnerable in front of someone, the higher your chances of failing at it.

Before you date, make sure you’ve let go of your pain and healed from your wounds. Know that the key here is to find balance.

Perfection is not something to be sought after.

Genuine love is about seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

You may have heard of this many times before, but this remains to be true. Despite their flaws and mistakes, you continue to see the good in them and believe that they can be better. They may fail at some point in their lives, but this doesn’t make you love them any less.

a man staring out into the horizon as he stood by the shore
Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky on Pexels

When you’re looking for the woman to spend the rest of your life with, stick to your preferences, and you will realize that being happy with someone is the kind of perfect love you never knew you would find in your life.

Assuming that every single woman you date is like your ex.

After having your heart broken by an ex-lover, you would do anything not to cross paths with them again. Naturally, it’s not in your best interest to meet and date someone like them.

While there’s a probability that you’ll gravitate towards women of the same type, it’s wrong to assume they’re going to do exactly what your previous lovers did. And if your instincts say they’re someone you should avoid, maybe it’s time you reevaluate your preferences in women.

Find a good match by mixing things up and dating ladies who aren’t your type.

You change yourself to meet someone’s expectations.

Do you think changing yourself is how you can make someone stay?

If you answered yes, that could be the reason why you’re single until now. Healthy and realistic expectations focus on the abstract aspects of the relationship that are beneficial when addressed well.

When you strongly like someone, you become too engrossed in fulfilling their satisfaction that you neglect yourself in some way. No matter how you try to keep that facade on, it will fall sooner or later.

Make them love you for being you.

Your judgment tells you that life is a lot more peaceful when you’re single.

When you’re single, you would give anything to have someone by your side. But when you’re finally in a relationship, you crave the kind of freedom you used to have.

It is human nature to wish for what we don’t have. But once we get it, we easily forget just how much we wanted it in the first place.

Relationships, when fulfilling, help us see ourselves in a way we never do. With a partner who reflects on who we are and what we do, they help make us better versions of ourselves.

a man about to approach a single woman in front of him
Photo by Ron Lach on Pexels

When no one else is brave enough to point out our mistakes, a partner will gladly do the part. Lean on the notion that relationships form for good reasons.

Being in a relationship means sacrificing a part of yourself.

If this is your kind of relationship, it’s not worth having at all.

Relationships are supposed to help two individuals grow and mature with each other, as they face adversaries together. It is a bond that is one of a kind, one meant to teach you lessons.

If your understanding of sacrifices done for love is altering yourself for the relationship to survive, it’s time you know what real love is.

Is it going to work?

You must have said this to yourself countless times now.

Especially when you can’t seem to meet someone compatible, you brush off the idea of finding love, ultimately believing it’s never going to work out for you.

But with the increasing popularity of online dating and the emergence of dating platforms, finding love has become a lot more convenient. From the tips of your fingers, you can now talk to beautiful single ladies no matter where you are. Read their profiles, see their photos, and even send them gifts!

Indeed, there are tons of things you can do for her, even if you’re physically apart. With the right dating site, your wishes will become a reality.

Keep a positive attitude that it will work.

Sure enough, it will be for you.

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Yasmin Del Rosario
Yasmin Del Rosario

Written by Yasmin Del Rosario

Top Writer for Online Dating | Professional Dating Coach at www.mydreamasian.com

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