REALITIES
Things You Should Know About a Papercut Relationship
Have you killed time flipping through pages of an excellent book when you suddenly felt a sharp, painful feeling somewhere on your fingertips? It might be difficult to distinguish this and you might’ve tried to ignore it as only a small part of your skin got cut. But then again, it’s very painful.
Now, a relationship where small, often unintentional, and seemingly insignificant issues pile up over time, which then causes pain and tension in the bond between the two people involved. This exactly defines a papercut relationship.
Papercuts in a relationship manifest in different forms. You may not treat these hurts seriously or you don’t notice them until they start to leave a deep aftermath, which goes to show the importance of maintaining transparency in a relationship.
Relationship Papercuts You Need to Know
Before you moping and blasting Taylor Swift’s Death by a Thousand Cuts, which perfectly explains the slow, painful death of a relationship, here’s a list of relationship papercuts to watch out for.
1. Talking Over Each Other
Sometimes we’re too eager to share our thoughts and we end up not listening to understand. That makes it difficult for the other person to express themselves fully. When you don’t give each other enough time to finish talking, this leads to pent-up frustration and communication disaster.
Be patient whenever your partner is talking and try to compose yourself. Listen to what they’re about to say fully. This supplements the quality of your communication and understanding of each other.
2. Forgetting Anniversaries and Birthdays
If you’re the type to forget or if you have a packed calendar, make an effort to set reminders for anniversaries and birthdays. Even if neither of you are the type to prefer grand celebrations, remembering milestones and shared history shows that you value your time together.
3. Unfulfilled Promises
This can be a major source of trust issues. Try not to make promises to your partner if you’re unsure if you can follow through on them, as this breeds feelings of disappointment and betrayal. Don’t even try making up stories for you will only make it difficult for them to trust you.
There may be things that are out of our control such as cases of work, family emergencies, or feeling unwell. Just be open and honest about them. Inform your partner as soon as you can instead of canceling at the last minute or letting them wait. If you’re on the other end and their actions hurt you, tell them how you feel instead of suppressing it. Avoid jumping to conclusions as to why they can’t make it and hear them out first.
4. Not Complimenting or Appreciating Them
You may not consider yourself big with words or maybe you prefer showing your affection in other ways, but verbalizing your appreciation to your partner increases their feelings of being valued and understood. Words of affirmation make us feel seen and admired, especially if it comes from the person we love.
Did your partner get a job offer? Congratulate them. Did they make time to cook for you? Look them in the eye and thank them. Are they trying out new clothes? Shower them with compliments. Be their cheerleader as much as you can!
5. Making Financial Decisions Without Discussion
Ignoring financial transparency can cause lasting damage to any unsuspecting couple. This can involve hiding money matters such as debts and major purchases. Those who aren’t transparent about these may impair trust and teamwork with their own partners, thus affecting the future of their relationship.
You may hide your expenses because you’re afraid of your partner’s reaction. However, experiencing their potential anger is better than accumulating their distrust..
Navigating a papercut relationship can be strenuous, but putting up your guard forever won’t encourage new perspectives that come with growth. We all make mistakes and unintentionally hurting our loved ones is part of life, but you CAN work through papercuts.
Have an open, gentle dialogue with your partner until you reach an agreement where both of you feel valued. In this way, you can embrace your respective imperfections and find joy in the reality of your relationship moving forward.
