REALITIES
Man vs Bear: Which Is the Better Companion?
The man vs bear debate has taken the internet by storm.
This hypothetical question has been airing around TikTok for months, asking women which one they would choose for a companion: a man or a bear. The overwhelming answer from women was the latter, and some men even answered the same thing. Other men, on the other hand, took offense to this, fueling the sparks of debate.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s data in 2020 showed that 50% of women and 30% of men have experienced some form of sexual violence. The conclusion reached by that study is a sobering one: that the issue is not uncommon to both genders.
Transgenders are also four times more likely to experience sexual assault than cisgenders, as found by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law. However, researchers are aware that the numbers gathered for their studies are not realistically accurate, as many cases continue to go unreported.
So, Why Would Anyone Not Pick the Bear?
Women believe they have a better chance of surviving with an animal acting out of instinct than with a man aware of his actions. To be clearer, here are their justifications:
“If a bear had attacked me, people would more likely believe me.”
“People wouldn’t blame me if I was mauled by a bear.”
“The bear wouldn’t brag to its pals that it mauled you.”
“No one would ask me what I was wearing that made the bear attack me.”
“I know a bear’s intention better than a nice man.”
These responses highlight how sad the world has become that women would rather be alone with a bear given how prevalent rape culture remains in our society. Abusers continue to have it easy while their victims are often shamed into silence.
If Bears Can Be Nice, so Can Men
It goes without saying that not all men are abusers. However, if more than half of all women have endured some form of sexual violence, no one can blame them for being extra cautious around men in general.
If you happen to be a man reading this, and if you’ve been berating women online for their responses to the popular hypothetical, it may better serve your time and energy to figure out how you can unlearn your limiting beliefs and actions. Here are suggestions that can help you start:
- Talk to your male friends, those with a similar outlook, and hold each other accountable. This is a good start in providing awareness to each other over how impactful your actions are towards the perceived safety of women in society.
- Be an active listener. Try not to interrupt or immediately judge someone who shares their experiences. It takes courage to relive trauma. Some even take years to find the courage to confess that they have been wronged because of the ingrained fear of being threatened or judged.
- Don’t be a victim-blamer. Stop saying words like “she’s asking for it” or “boys will be boys” because you are reinforcing harassment and assault to be normal which shouldn’t be. The perpetrator should be the one to face responsibility.
- Lastly, take action by reporting. This is to give justice and protection against further harm to spread.
It takes two to tango to create a space where the man vs bear debate no longer creates tension. If you expect a woman to be loving towards you, make sure you also create a world that keeps her safe.
References:
Charlie Health Editorial Team. 2024. “How Common Is Sexual Assault? Look at These Statistics.” Charlie Health.
https://www.charliehealth.com/post/sexual-assault-statistics#:~:text=And%2C%20sexual%20violence%20is%20unfortunately,rape%2C%20according%20to%20national%20data.
Flores, Andrew, Meyer, IIan, Langton, Lynn, Herman, Jody. 2021. “Gender Identity Disparities in Criminal Victimization: National Crime Victimization Survey, 2017–2018.” American Journal of Public Health.
https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/press/ncvs-trans-press-release/
