DATING ADVICE

What You Need To Know Before Marrying A Chinese Woman

What does this mean for you?

Yasmin Del Rosario

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In China, marriage and family life remain fundamental to its culture, with teenagers and young adults often thinking that they will find a partner at some point.

From a generational perspective, dating and romantic relationships in China today are looked at very differently from before. Compared to their previous generation, adolescents and young adults tend to be more progressive in their beliefs regarding the matter.

Researchers have noted that Chinese parents have a tendency to oppose adolescent dating, due to their more traditional and conservative views.

What does this mean for you?

Chinese women and their dating culture

Because of traditional Chinese culture, women are pressured about who and when they should marry. To the people of China, if you are a woman over 30, you are no longer considered desirable for marriage. And since marriage is so important there, a single Chinese woman is essentially an outcast.

There is also this stigma about how much a woman should earn. If she happens to earn more than the man pursuing her, she is more likely to get dumped afterwards. So to those women who prefer to hone their careers rather than their skill in taking care of a home, their chances are very low on the market.

This is why many of them seek partners abroad. In order to fully comprehend these gender differences within Chinese culture, we must look into greater historical context.

The relative roles and status of Chinese males and females have been patriarchal in nature for many centuries. But these long-standing differences may be changing. For example, in terms of educational attainment, women have been rising considerably over the years. Women’s employment, which has always been guaranteed in China, is on par with that of men.

They have been slowly breaking away from the expectations. And some men, especially those who are more traditional, don’t necessarily like it.

As previously stated, it is a deal breaker when a woman earns more than the man. But since these women have also been getting smarter, they turn to the West for romantic partners, since they are more open-minded and less restrictive with their standards.

How to date a Chinese woman

Understanding why they turn to the West for marriage is the first step. Learning how to date one is the next.

When it comes to dining

It goes without saying that you are expected to pay for everything if you take her on a date. Most Chinese girls dislike the phrase “go Dutch.” It effectively prevents guys from displaying their generosity in this way.

Despite the fact that a Chinese girl normally does not have to pay a cent when eating lunch or dinner with her lover at a restaurant, she will not refrain from choosing pricey meals. Furthermore, in order to demonstrate chivalry, you will need to “encourage” her to order whatever she wants.

When it comes to shopping

Most Chinese women, especially the younger ones, are addicted to shopping. The amount of time they spend on Taobao (the most popular online shopping website in China) every day is an explicit reflection of their passion for shopping.

They still go to visit physical stores on the weekends. This allows them to try the clothes on before buying them. Shopping with a Chinese girl can often feel like a marathon rather than a sprint. They will only make a final decision once they finish going from one store to the other.

They may not even know what they want at times. All they want to do is go around different stores, hoping to find something fascinating.

Expect to carry her bought items, by the way. You might even have to carry her handbag too.

They love surprises

Chinese girls adore surprises, but don’t settle for just flowers or a box of chocolates. In China, Chinese guys often need to save money for a month or two to surprise their girlfriends in an “effective” way.

Most Chinese girls are more interested in expensive clothes and bags rather than in chocolate and flowers. This can sometimes cost a fortune. Thankfully, they are unlikely to request for something similar on a regular basis. A lavish birthday gift, for example, would make them happy for several months.

Get along with her family

Be aware that Chinese women are very close with their families. It’s common to find unmarried women still living at home with their extended family.

This means their opinion about you is going to matter.

To reiterate, marriage is very big for them. You need to be in their good graces if you want to continue dating your girl. This is especially true if marriage is something you had in plan for her.

Start with something small like greeting them in Chinese. Take special care to respect their elders too. They have the most say in things, after all.

Learn a bit of Chinese

You might be able to find many bilingual Chinese women in the mainland but they still love to converse mainly in their language.

You don’t need to be fluent. The effort alone will ingratiate you to her and her family.

Are Chinese women worth it?

In intercultural relationships, you should expect to make concessions. Likewise, you will have to learn each other’s culture and make adjustments in your lives to have a harmonious relationship. Though there will be culture shocks here and there, at the end of the day, you will be grateful to have such a loving woman by your side. So the answer is, yes. Chinese women are worth it as long as you’re willing to make it work.

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