Why It’s Difficult to Be In An Interracial Relationship

Yasmin Del Rosario
5 min readFeb 23, 2024

Interracial relationships are just as beautiful as monocultural relationships. Unfortunately, unlike couples belonging to the same race and culture, interracial couples often face prejudice and discrimination.

We live in a society where people are free to express their opinions. To the dismay of mixed couples, a large majority of the population still views their relationship negatively. Unconventional, eccentric, or not normal are a few of the descriptions thrown at mixed-race couples.

Sadly, it’s not only them who face this kind of unfair judgment. In reality, same-sex and age-gap couples also suffer from the same biased perspective.

The Challenges Interracial Couples Face From Society

When you love someone several miles away from you, you become open to different things. As your fondness for them grows, you broaden your perspective and see the world differently.

You are more receptive to their race, culture, traditions, beliefs, religion, and more. No matter how different you are, you still see beauty despite your disparity.

The sad part, however, is you constantly receive eyeing looks and criticisms from the general public. People will bring you down and make you believe that your relationship is wrong.

Though they don’t know who you are, they always seem to have something to say about you and your relationship. You might encounter the following if you’re in an intercultural relationship:

  1. People give you skeptical looks when you’re together.
  2. You often hear derogatory remarks from disapproving strangers.
  3. Your social media posts are also subject to negative comments.
  4. You lose contact with family and friends who disapprove of your relationship.
  5. Other than criticism, you’re likely subject to hate speech.
  6. In the long run, you might even feel isolated and avoided.

These challenges are difficult to get through. But you both have to learn how to ignore them. What matters is that you’re there for each other. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and transparent about your feelings with your partner.

Amid the challenges, make it a habit to check on each other. Rather than assume what’s on your partner’s mind, talk to them and let them vent their frustrations away.

The Real Struggles of Being in Interracial Relationships

Knowing how to take charge of your emotions will help as you go through struggles. Nonetheless, taking precautions is better to prevent you from being overwhelmed with what you’re about to face.

1. You’re likely to have two value systems.

Dr. Sidney Simon, the author of Values Clarification, stated that different value systems easily cause conflict in relationships because what’s important to one partner may not be as important to the other.

In effect, one partner may feel that their goals and plans aren’t valued, whereas the other might feel forced to believe an idea.

To overcome this struggle, you must both learn to accept that you won’t be on the same page all the time and that there isn’t a need for you to be.

2. Your relationship boundaries may disappear.

Because you feel judged by society, you turn to your partner for comfort and protection. This brings you closer but may, later on, affect your boundaries.

To prevent this, keep each other in check. Whenever you get uncomfortable, tell them immediately.

3. Because you’re a mixed-race couple, you hesitate to talk about racism.

You want to believe that your love could easily override racism. This can be a problem in your relationship, especially when one family disapproves of the other partner.

When met with this struggle, address the issue right away instead of avoiding the conversation.

4. When you don’t trust your relationship enough, the opinions of others can affect your wellbeing.

When you love someone from a different race, you won’t seem to mind what others will say unless they’re your friends and family. Sadly, not all of them would understand your decision.

Over time, you will realize how hurtful the situation is, especially when you have to choose between your friends and family or your partner.

Overcome this by keeping an open mind. Get to know your partner deeply and decide if the relationship’s worth fighting for or whether you should listen to what your friends say.

5. You feel superior in the relationship because of your race.

Now, it’s hard to conceal racist thoughts and beliefs. Not only will you offend your partner, but your relationship is doomed to failure.

When you’re together, don’t think that your partner is the lucky one. This is how a racist person usually thinks, and it can be a projection of your insecurities as well.

Before you date internationally, see if you’re sensitive and considerate of people from another race and always keep your feet on the ground.

There can be pleasant and painful things about interracial relationships. Despite this, the number of people who marry into a different race is increasing.

A study by the Pew Research Center found out that about 15% of the new marriages in the U.S. involved partners of different races. Needless to say, dating internationally is an opportunity you shouldn’t miss out on.

Myths About Interracial Couples

It’s interesting to read about conspiracy theories, stories of a parallel universe, and the possibility of secret societies. While it’s easy to lose yourself in these made-up tales, reading about myths may not seem so bad after all.

Here are some myths about interracial couples:

  1. They dated each other to prove a stand other than love.
  2. They receive the same treatment as any other couple.
  3. They are not racist since they’re dating a person from another race.
  4. Everything the media reports about interracial couples is true.
  5. The history of each partner’s race and how they were treated doesn’t matter.
  6. Interracial couples should procreate because of the superior combination of their genes.

One of the most powerful messages interracial relationships tell us is that true love transcends differences. Despite coming from different cultural backgrounds, these couples took a chance at love and followed their hearts.

True, they face unique struggles, but those hardships only make them stronger. So if you’re in an intercultural relationship or are interested in being in one, don’t get discouraged by these challenges.

That said, don’t waste your time any longer. Date a foreign woman and find the love you’ve been waiting for your whole life.