CULTURE & DATING
Flowers You Shouldn’t Give to Asian Lover
Inexpensive, elegant, easy to find.
Flowers are every man’s ace when they need to give their woman a gift ASAP.
In Asia, however, you don’t give a girl flowers just like that. Depending on the country, the kind of flower and the number of stems all mean something. In China for example, the number of roses represents a specific message for the receiver.
But if you know the rules, it will be so much easier to find out which flowers will give you the biggest bang for the buck.
Be careful choosing flowers. There are some who might feel uncomfortable if you mindlessly send them an orange lily just because you thought it looked pretty. If you really want to send flowers, avoid the ones on this list. The hidden meanings in these aren’t as nice as, say, the red rose meaning (which is love and desire).
1. Chrysanthemums
The Chrysanthemum carries a plethora of meanings, as one can guess when it comes to the language of flowers. In China, they are a symbol of good quality, refinement and longevity. They are also well-known as one of the “Four Gentlemen.”
But — they are given in memory of the dead. Especially the white ones.
There is no accurate and exact explanation for why chrysanthemums are used for the dead in Chinese culture. The most likely possibility is that it has just become a conventional rule. Since it is used so often for the dead, especially in the Tomb Sweeping Festival, people have accepted this as common practice.
While not all chrysanthemums are meant for dead people, it still might not be a good idea to give your girlfriend one. Not unless you want to give her an omen of death.
2. Orange Lilies
A fan favorite! If you want to tell someone you hate them that is.
If you’re in the process of choosing the right flowers, our advice is to avoid Orange Lilies, no matter how bright and pretty they are. Orange lilies, while very beautiful and popular, have 3 exact meanings: hatred, pride and disdain.
If you want to convey your hate to a co-worker without outright telling them or breaching some protocols, go ahead and send them a bouquet. Your girlfriend in Asia though? Don’t.
Important note: other colors are fine! The lily has a variety of colors to its name and has wonderful hidden meanings. Remember, it’s the orange ones you don’t want to get involved with.
3. Black Roses
Mother nature may not have made them but they still exist. They’re very pretty and tempting to buy, especially if one has been dyed very beautifully by a talented florist. But out of all the flowers on this list, sending your girlfriend a black rose is the worst thing you could do.
You see them in shows, games or cartoons. They depict so many negative meanings that it’s considered a power move to give one to someone. Black roses symbolize death, sorrow, danger and revenge. They are something you give to a teenage girl who finds herself obsessed with vampire novels, not to romantic partners.
Unless you two are into sexy novels and have a thing for dark yet romantic symbols, by all means, go ahead. Just don’t give them to her if you two had just started dating.
4. Yellow Carnations
Carnations actually make good gifts. In terms of picking flowers, carnations are wonderful because of their symbolism and aesthetics.
It’s the yellow ones that you really shouldn’t give.
One word: rejection. If you want to break it off with someone, give them a yellow carnation. If you want to show disdain, add a couple of them to your bouquet if a double entendre is your aim.
That girl in Asia you were hoping to marry?..
How about you go for the white ones instead? They signify pure love and sweetness. The yellow ones are reserved for that annoying relative you’re forced to meet during family reunions and that one girl at work who no one in the office likes.
5. Petunias
Here is another flower meant for annoying relatives and co-workers instead of lovely ladies.
Petunias may look striking and colorful, but know that they mean resentment or anger. If you’re mad enough at someone to resent their very existence, this flower is perfect. But please don’t give your Asian girlfriend a bouquet with this in the mix. Just to be sure, even consider petunias for any happy occasion.
Remember that the flowers on this list are meant for people you don’t like. Not to someone you plan on marrying in the future.
Flowers Can Be Complicated
Since flowers have a whole language of their own and aren’t very consistent most of the time, choosing the right one can be complicated. Asian women will take it the wrong way if you decide to give one a flower from this list.
So to be clear, if you want to convey genuine affection and love, send red roses, carnations that aren’t yellow, and some tulips. You can never go wrong with red roses. Just make sure to steer clear of the black ones.
It’s also a good idea to give her a bouquet of sunflowers. Just sunflowers. The warm and happy feeling you get when you are with your girlfriend can be translated through sunflowers. Not only do they symbolize the characteristics of the sun, but they also stand for loyalty. Loyalty is a very important part of a long-distance relationship.
Another option would be peonies. The fluffy flower, peony, is commonly associated with romance, prosperity, and bashfulness. Another belief is that they are a good luck charm for those who receive them. Peonies are not always in season, so take advantage when they are available. Depending on where you are in the world, peonies could be in or out of season.
If you’re never sure about what to give her, always go for the safer ones. Those that don’t need too much thought because everyone else has been doing it already.
Now that you know what to do, go ahead and get her a bouquet of these little wonders!
Suggested read
