Realities
Dating in Your 30s: Does It Get Any Better?
People often give dating in your 30s a bad name.
Some compare it to catching a bus after midnight because there aren’t as many people in your dating pool. You may end up paying for what their ex did to them, and light, fun dating isn’t as common anymore.
In all honesty, as someone who has dated a few times, it does become more challenging as we age.
To name a few, our standards evolve, which contributes to a shrinking dating pool. We begin to consider whether we are physically healthy enough to conceive a child (if we want one) or avoid someone who wants one.
And we’re approaching middle age, which can make things even harder.
However, I’d like to turn things around. As a fan of dating, getting dressed up, and experiencing the angst that comes with meeting someone for the first time, I believe that dating in your 30s is not as bad as it sounds.
What Good Comes of Dating in Your 30s?
Being in your 30s, when your prefrontal cortex is fully developed, surely helps make dating a little easier. For example:
You View Things Consequentially
You’d be surprised to learn you’re becoming intelligent enough to recognize certain “flaws” or non-negotiables when you first get to know someone. That means you now have greater self-awareness.
You’re now less reactive to people who you know are only interested in you because of some benefit to them and not because they genuinely care. At the end of every date, you yourself often asking, “Can I handle this for the rest of my life?”
Your Preferences Become Clearer
Compared to your twenties, your preferences for a partner are more obvious now that you have more life and dating experience (or observations if you’ve been single since birth).
You don’t get the same rush as you once did when you meet someone emotionally unavailable because you realize that someone who is more discerning is what’s truly exciting.
You now care more about whether the person in front of you shares your values. If not, you end the relationship after two dates rather than two years.
Your World Doesn’t Revolve Around Your Partner
The reality of dating in your 30s as a man is that pressure comes from everywhere. As a result, societal expectations motivate you to establish yourself and achieve relative success.
In contrast to your 20s, when you were overly smitten and attached to your partner, you’re more balanced now in managing relationships and personal goals. You occupy your life with meaningful work, friends, hobbies, and even housework.
You’re More Mindful of Who You Share Your Dating Life With
You definitely begin to abandon the habit of breaking every news to your friends as if it were a daily mail. This is not because you don’t trust the few people in your circle. Rather, you simply trust your judgment now.
The problem with telling anyone about your dating adventures, even your closest friends, is that their opinions may influence yours. In your 30s, you realize that centering yourself through it all provides a stronger sense of judgment, which ultimately leads to greater fulfillment.
You Navigate Breakups Better
People in their 30s become more adept at handling breakups, not only because they know what they want but also because they understand that the stakes are higher. Moving forward, you become more balanced between emotion and logic.
This doesn’t mean you become numb to heartaches. Rather, you stop giving yourself false hope and instead concentrate more on the fact that you can’t control everything.
Besides all the possible good things that come with dating in your 30s, it’s not without its difficulties. Remember that dating struggles vary not only with age, but also with culture and changes in modern life. All I can say is that for things to get better, you also have to learn and move better.
