ONLINE DATING
Should Foreign Men Trust Dating Asian Women Online?
Online dating is very popular among men who wish to date Asian women. They set up profiles, they go through potential matches, and some of them succeed and find loving and happy relationships. But some guys who try find themselves paralyzed. They’ll make the profile and look through potential matches, but some sense of dread in the pit of their stomach keeps them from being able to do more than just look.
Sometimes, they’re afraid of rejection. They’ll see an Asian woman, see how beautiful she is, and decide that she’s out of their league and then they’ll get it in their heads that she’d never look at him in a romantic sense.
Or they’ll see how beautiful she is and they’ll think that she’s too good to be true. Such fears are not entirely unfounded. Asia has a lot of its people that are online in some way and they can be pretty fast and loose with honesty and it’s not exactly unknown that there are bad actors on the Asian internet. So foreign men find themselves wondering if they’re able to trust someone when dating online.
While it is true that there are bad actors online, it’s also true that there are a lot of ways to determine if a profile or person is trustworthy or not.
Social Media Feed
One thing you need to look at if you’re trying to determine whether or not to trust a profile is to check out if they have a social media feed. This can help you determine if a profile is legit, because a person whose entire digital footprint is a dating profile is suspicious. It’s not a good sign if all you can find out about them is a dating profile.
Now, if you determine that a person is real, their social media feed can tell you a lot about them. For example, if their profile says they’re a vegetarian but their social media feed has them eating fried chicken, then that’s an indicator that they’re not being honest on their profile.
It is not a perfect way to determine how trustworthy someone or something is, but it’s a great way to get started.
Withhold, withhold, withhold
You know that show 90 Day Fiance? It’s on TLC and it’s pretty popular, having lasted 8 seasons thus far and spawning 3 spinoffs. The original show is about American citizens going through the process of dating and sometimes marrying a foreign citizen. One of the subjects of that show was a man who may or may not have been getting taken for a ride.
This American man had been dating a Ukrainian woman for years. Over the course of that relationship, they met in real life a grand total of zero times. This man spent tens of thousands of dollars of his own money on her. But the relationship didn’t work out and they didn’t meet in real life until after the relationship had run its course.
No one’s saying that anyone scammed anyone. Maybe they just didn’t have any chemistry in real life. But the dots are there if you care to connect them.
Another thing that can be done to determine trustworthiness is to withhold access to your country. If they’re after a way out and you don’t offer that way out, they’ll lose interest in you. If they don’t lose interest, then that’s a pretty good sign that you’ve found a keeper.
Look, it’s not fun to realize that the person that you’ve been talking to on the internet is actually not that into you, but it’s a lot better than getting married and then realizing that she’s not into you after every single piece of legal paperwork is signed, notarized, and filed.
Keep Them Talking
A great way to determine whether or not you can trust someone is to talk to them. English may not be her first language, but the way she communicates can be very revealing about her true intentions.
If she keeps talking about all the things that she’s going to do when you’re married but not about the things that you’ll be doing as a couple, then it’s a sign that she sees you as incidental, that you’re just a means to an end, not the end in and of itself.
A lot of Asian cultures encourage their people to be reserved and stoic to some degree. So getting them to talk might be somewhat difficult.
Asian women are especially encouraged not to voice the things that they want in a relationship. But you need to know these things if you want to suss out her motivation for getting with you.
Get A Second Opinion And Maybe A Third Or Fourth
You may have a buddy or two who are married to someone from Thailand, China, India, or the Philippines. And at some point they no doubt will have vouched for such an arrangement.
You’ve heard all the good things they have to say. But don’t just let it end there.
Ask them about their own experiences. Get their opinion to see if the behavior of your potential match is consistent with how they know Asians to be.
The reality is that the cultural and language divide may be so wide that we need mediation. So don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Gut Feeling
Often, gut feelings are dismissed as irrational. In some cases, they are. There are times when your brain just plays tricks on you. Occasionally, you should trust what your gut is telling you. A gut feeling isn’t just a feeling. It is more likely than not that your gut feelings are based on subconscious information.
Gut feelings are essentially instincts. The same thing prevents you from sticking your hand into an open flame because you’ll get burned. The voice in your head tells you that falling from a height will be painful.
Simply put, if it feels wrong, then something probably is wrong.
So trust your instincts every now and then.
Just Go For It
All the strategies in the world can be devised and implemented. It is possible to test someone endlessly until the cows come home. The best way to determine whether or not you can trust someone is to simply surrender and give them the chance.
Trusting someone and hoping for the best is the best way to determine if they are trustworthy. This isn’t the most appealing option, but you won’t find a better one.
Once broken, trust can’t be easily repaired. Consequently, it shouldn’t be given out at random. However, in order for a relationship to work, it first must be given. If you’re lucky enough to be chosen by an Asian woman, that means she’s going to be placing a lot of trust in you because she may have to move halfway across the world to be with you. So it’d only be polite to reciprocate.
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