DATING ADVICE
5 Common Dating Fears and What You Can Do about Them
Dating can open doors to different possibilities, from finding a long-time partner, experiencing a genuine relationship, to finally having a happy-ever-after.
However, it doesn’t mean you won’t have to face any challenges. For instance, dating can sometimes be scary and awkward, forcing you to gauge your capabilities, analyze your potential, and discern your flaws.
Some people are afraid to get back into the dating scene because of various personal reasons. If you’re one of these people, the following are some of the most common dating fears and how to overcome them.
“It won’t work out.”
It’s a scary experience to spend a lot of time and energy chatting with someone online only to find out that there’s little to no chemistry in person.
As a result, most people tend to look for chemistry right off the bat during the first date.
It’s reasonable to look for assurance that you and your date will click, but not to a point where you make intuitive judgments and assumptions without getting to know the person more.
What if she’s the one and she feels the same way too? Will you let the opportunity slip away?
There’s nothing to be scared of when giving the person the opportunity to know you more as they will do the same for you.
If you feel like you’re connecting the dots and flipping the pages, check what your mind, heart, and intuition is telling you.
For example, if you think you won’t have chemistry because you’re too old for her, try to explore other details that will support your claim.
If you’re wrong, then work it out and maintain the buildup until you’re both fully acquainted and comfortable enough with one another. If you’re right, you can end the date politely and move on.
“I’m not good enough.”
If you always feel you’re not good enough for someone, it means you’ve been consumed by fear. How is that feeling helping you in your life right now, especially in your quest of finding true love? Wallowing in self-pity is accepting defeat.
Instead, try telling yourself that you deserve all the best things in life, including a genuine and long-lasting relationship.
There’s always someone out there who’s willing to embrace the chaos and madness with you, you just need to brave the storm and find them. Of course, you won’t be able to find them unless you allow yourself first.
“She won’t like me.”
Some people pretend to be someone they’re not just so their date will like them. It’s wrong and it’ll backfire in the long run.
If she doesn’t like you in the first place, then it’s great to discover that early on rather than waste your time convincing yourself otherwise.
There’s nothing to worry about if she doesn’t like you. The truth is, you can’t please everybody. All you need to do is be honest with yourself (and every version of yourself). Keep this in mind and you’ll find dating less intimidating.
“She’s not exactly what I thought she would be.”
People are afraid of dating because they’re not someone they thought they should be. It’s common, both online and in traditional dating. However, there’s one solution to it. Agree to meet up as soon as possible. This way, you can assess and decide if you still want to pursue the person.
“I’m afraid of crossing boundaries.”
You want to kiss her, but what if she doesn’t like to be kissed on the first date? What if you want to get her number, but she thinks it’s too early?
Most people are afraid that their first date will end up pretty bad just because they’ve crossed a certain boundary. The solution is pretty simple: ask.
If she declines your request but agrees to go out on a second date with you, then you can always try again. Or you might want to open up about it on your next date.
Fear is a powerful driving force, but don’t let it stop you from finding the person who can give you a meaningful relationship. Dating is fun and exciting only if you overcome your fears.
Impress your date by not being consumed by fear.
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