Asian Women and Relationship Age Gaps

In the majority of cultures around the world, women seek to enter relationships with men who are older.

Recent studies have shown that age gaps around the world are getting smaller and smaller. A pulse survey shows that the average age gap in relationships today is between 6–8 years.

To what exactly are defined as large age gaps, not everyone is in agreement. For some, 10–15 years is considered large, while other cultures consider the gap truly large if it is beyond 15 years.

But do relationship gaps really matter to an Asian woman? The short answer is no.

Unspoken Advantage of Age

Current research involving Asian women, intercultural marriages, and international marriages suggests that marriages involving age gaps have a lower divorce rate.

Maturity remains the obvious advantage an older man has over younger men. It’s a known fact that men tend to mature at a much slower rate compared to women. By the time women are ready to settle down and raise a family, men of their age are still counting quantity over quality.

Men tend to mature much later than women, thus women prefer dating older men because they are aware that they bring along maturity and life experience. They simply offer more than just intimacy.

Older men also offer stability in a marriage. What does this mean?

Financial stability is one, as well as the ability to lead a family. When men begin to mature, they settle into a decided set of goals and values.

In a financially stable relationship, women have the option of choosing to be full time homemakers. Studies have shown that although women, especially single Asian women, strive for professional growth in the workforce, a good number would still prefer to be stay at home wives if the opportunity is given. This allows them to spend more time and less resources when it comes to child rearing.

Common Challenges

The challenges for age gap relationships are external and internal. The first is based on how others perceive them, and the latter on how individuals deal with different life stages.

The silver lining is that when couples work through age gap issues, studies find that they can achieve greater marital satisfaction than similar-aged couples. By understanding that your issues are a result of an age difference, and not a fractured love connection, you can manage stress and focus internally.

One factor that affects relationship outcomes of age-gap couples is their perception of social disapproval. That is, if these couples respond negatively to their family, friends, and general social disapproval, the risk of break-up increases.

It is easy to say, “Forget about the haters,” but the truth is that society doesn’t always keep an open mind and this makes its way into our private lives. Name-calling largely affects women as opposed to men.

This kind of double standard can cause tension in a relationship with an age gap. It’s important for men to understand that society can influence their female partner’s self-esteem and they should actively stick up for her if these situations arise.

Furthermore, a partner who isn’t emotionally affected by the age difference shouldn’t dismiss the other person’s negative feelings. Listening and supporting them can go a long way towards making them feel comfortable.

Another hurdle is finding common ground. You are both at different stages in your life, and may possibly have less in common with each other. Having similar goals, values, and dreams will help solidify your relationship.

What happens when one partner wants to have children and the other doesn’t? A younger woman may perhaps feel pressured to get pregnant before she’s ready. Men who have raised children in their previous relationships might not want to do it all over again — the PTA meetings, dance recitals, etc. These are very real struggles that need to be dealt with seriously and sincerely.

It’s all about compromise

Understanding that with the difference in age comes differences in perspectives as well. You both may have a different outlook on things due to the varying life experiences that you both possess.

It is also important to make time for yourself as well. The difference in age gaps will mean that there’s a high chance that you won’t always agree with what you guys like to do in your free time.

You might wanna stay in and read a book while your partner wants to go hiking. Don’t feel bad about making some time for yourself.

In every relationship, communication is key. If communication fails, chances are the relationship will too. Essentially, communication is your bridge to each other, not just to talk but to know more about each other as well.

Truth be told, most problems couples, or people in general face, can be solved by open and sincere communication. You need to be able to figure out your problems at the root. In the case of age gaps, deep-seated insecurities might be the most difficult to bring to light.

Many couples with a significant age difference can make a relationship work. The key is to be mindful of your partner and the gap in your relationship so you can address all the issues involved. For many couples, age is not an issue, because their similarities and differences have more to do with personal and psychological factors than age.

The important thing for those looking to date Asian women is to communicate, cohabitate, and compromise to make the relationship work.

Do age gaps truly matter?

The success of a relationship depends on the extent to which partners share similar values, beliefs and goals about their relationship; support each other in achieving personal goals; foster relationship commitment, trust and intimacy; and resolve problems in constructive ways. These factors have little to do with age.

So the reality is, while age gap dating may bring about some challenges for couples, so long as couples work at their relationship with an open mind, age shouldn’t be a barrier.

You don’t need to be of the same age — rather, you just need to be on the same page.